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Guildmember's Birthdays:
One birthday today, congrats!
Lyon (40)
Next birthdays
06/09 ilitharius (39)
06/09 Gacilana (34)
07/09 Derif (37)
07/09 Xersey (24)
10/09 Sorata (27)
11/09 Diode (32)
12/09 Kaenmeishu (26)
12/09 Ritayn (27)
12/09 Gimmelots (47)
12/09 Aquinna (31)
13/09 AthensSot (34)
Lyon (40)
Next birthdays
06/09 ilitharius (39)
06/09 Gacilana (34)
07/09 Derif (37)
07/09 Xersey (24)
10/09 Sorata (27)
11/09 Diode (32)
12/09 Kaenmeishu (26)
12/09 Ritayn (27)
12/09 Gimmelots (47)
12/09 Aquinna (31)
13/09 AthensSot (34)
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Submitted by special guest columnist: The Lich King! Good lord, living at the top of a spire of ice is boring.  Pictured: the hottest party in Icecrown. Most of the time, I spend all day sitting on ass, wondering why I can't feel the IcyHot I've been spreading all over my tweaked muscles. I don't know if you guys know this, but sitting on ass is great for producing leg cramps. I spend so much time stretching out muscle strains, I named my kneecaps Charlie and Horse. But, really, it's not like I have anything better to do. Guess how awesome the dating scene is on a continent littered with undead and some intelligent walruses? Yeh... pretty good, if you're a gangrenous sore or suffering from some sort of blindness, but not great if you're a dude who happens to be able to reanimate the dead. The potential awkwardness inherent in that ability is frightening. I don't even like to pick my nose anymore. I did that one time, and Zul'Drak was never the same!  He's so dreamy! So you can imagine my surprise when some fool tour guide brought a bunch of kids all up on my spire-top like I wasn't even there. That junk pissed me off, y'all! And then he started talking like I was the baddest man on the planet and they were here to kick my ass and make me give up the kingdom, like these guys here could run this festering pit of snot and explosives better than me! Whatevz. I vaguely remembered the guy, but c'mon, that was like 5 or 10 years ago? How are they expecting me to live up in this lifeless sky toothpick and stay sober enough to remember what happened 5 nights ago, let alone years!  I know my friend the Horseman feels me on this one. At any rate, I briefly considered giving in to the turd burglar after I checked my raid popups and noticed a pink healthbar in there... I thought that might indicate "hot chick", but apparently it indicates "Paladin". When you think about it, other than the "hot" part, the two aren't that far off... but that little mistake still cheesed my grits enough to make me want to stomp this blob of circus clowns until there was nothing left of them but patterns in my snow-rug! Thing is, you guys... you ever step in an anthole full of fire-ants, before? Or put your hand in a barrel of piranhas? Or stuck your head into a circus tent full of bearded women to see if the sideshow was worth that $0.35 admission price that you think you might rather use to buy Chicklets from the little pally orphan down at the end of the block whose bubble doesn't even have a hearth attached to it? Yeah. Them midgets is feisty! They kept nibbling at my legs and trying to dent my greaves. It was pretty annoying!  Dare ya to. It took awhile, and in their defense, those little half-people really did put some damage on yours truly. Especially that pally I'd almost mistaken for a chance at date-night. I wouldn't say he's ugly, but let's put it this way: he had a face that could launch a thousand blood-borne diseases. But, eventually, I got'em all to stop scrambling up my pant legs long enough to squash'em with my bug-huntin' boot. At the end of it all, their lifeless corpses littered my throne-pavillion, lookin' a lot like the end of Woodstock '94, but with less bodies.  Boot: Kills raids dead. And then the strangest thing happened... I felt, err, pity? I dunno, but it was pretty wierd. Okay, maybe not pity. In retrospect, I bet it was probably something to do with the sudden activity after a few years of sitting on ass. I probably should eat more fiber, and less canned meat.  Not pictured: health. Whatever it was, I felt kinda wobbly... and that was just enough for that damn tourguide to pop me in the back of my mind-container with some kind of truncheon. Or it may have been a cucumber colored black with a Sharpee. Who knows with these ridiculous carny-folk. When I came to from the knock, all those little hobbits were up and stabbing at me! It was a little weird... it didn't really hurt, but at the same time, man was this time-consuming. So I just faked like I died and waited for the felons to loot what they wanted outta my pockets, and then got outta there when they weren't looking. This "reigning over a frozen wasteland of skeletons and demons" isn't all it's cracked up to be, anyway. Those midgets can take a crack at it. I'm gonna be down in Margaritaville showin' the ladies how I "raise the dead", if you catch my drift! One Love, y'all! Arthas, The Lick King (Ed. Note: man, I am so leaving that typo in there. Snap!)  |
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